So I have more big news - my wife is pregnant. I told you it was big news, well for me at least. It probably doesn’t affect you at all unless you and my wife are keeping one hell of a secret from me. When I first heard the news I thought “wow, the next BOC intro is going to be so easy.” My plan was to just make some pregnant wife jokes and then blather on about some baseball stats, but when I set down I realized that it just wasn’t going to happen. I wanted to do the whole “hey fellas you know how crazy the old lady can be” shtick but it would be completely disingenuous.
Honestly, my wife has been remarkably sane for the last 5 months and now that we are getting later into the pregnancy she actually seems to be more stable and focused than before. Really, I am kind of disappointed in some ways, I hope I would get all kinds of “crazy wife” stories but that just simply hasn’t materialized. Instead, I have realized – definitively realized – that people are just liars. Seriously. I mean, throughout my life there have been dozens of landmark events, and at each one I was promised some new insight. “When you get to High School things will be so different, I’ll tell you what young man, you just won’t be the same” or “When you get to college it will change you, you just wait” or “Wait till your married, boy you won’t believe the change”. But up to this point…hmm yeah it’s all been complete BS. Nothing ever changed, at each step of the way I look down and I am still wearing Chucks. Aside from some excess abdominal fat and a receding hairline, things aren’t much different than they were 10 years ago. Sure, I have slightly nicer things, can’t drink as often, and enjoy New Yankee Workshop a little too much, but nothing has fundamentally changed at all. I am starting to realize that this whole “life changing experience” think is at best just wishful thinking and at worst more delusional than someone drafting Rocco Baldelli.
I don’t know, I am sure some people have genuinely had their lives flipped upside down by kids – John & Kate, Jose Menendez & Kitty Anderson – but at this point I just don’t see it in the cards for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am ecstatic about my child and know it will be ridiculously challenging, but I am not joining the parents club. No Baby Wise or playgroups for me, and I definitely will not talk to my childless friends like they are missing half their brains – “You just wait till you have a kid, everything will change so fast, it’s just a different world”. I think that it is myth that you somehow have an elevated sense of the world simply because you are married, or have a house, or a kid, or stop smoking, or have a near death experience – you don’t. You have a new facet of yourself and something new to occupy part of your time, but come on…..in the end you know you still like Bruce Springsteen, dive bars and tight Jordache jeans on a waitress. Wow, I have just wasted my entire article, I better quit rambling and get onto some baseball before my 750 words are up….
RANKINGS, RANKINGS, READ ALL ABOUT IT AND AN ESOTERIC EDIE BRICKELL LYRICAL REFRENCE
So, yes I am going to do something completely uncreative and laborious. Over the next few weeks I am going to start to break down my positional rankings for this coming season. Now, this is not going to be a draft guide – I don’t do that kind of work for no dinero. If I was going to lay out a full draft guide I would have to be able to cash some checks, fill my pockets and go watch a band play with the proceeds. For now, I am just going to keep it simple. I will start this week – keep in mind that I factor trade value HEAVILY into my rankings. To me the goal is to move players and make consistent incremental gains. To do that you have to have trade value – last season Aaron Hill was as good or better than Chase Utley but which do you think would garner more in a trade? Name value and cache are very important – so this is your fair warning that my rankings will be extremely influenced by trade value.
BLANTANTLY RIPPING OFF ESPN
I know it has become popular to hate ESPN – they are, after all, the worldwide leader in bad jokes during a sports news show – but their fantasy site is pretty good. Is all the advice dead on? No, but whose is? I once said people should sell high on Ryan Braun. Anyway, they have this article where their contributors fill out this list below. I honestly could be sued for this but the list was so much fun to read that I wanted to fill one out myself…
Your fondest sports wish for 2010 is:
That Wily Mo Pena will be healthy and someone will let him play.
Why will this happen/not happen?
Because he could hurt himself putting on cleats and people are ridiculous impatient. Also, his best comp is Pedro Cerrano.
Any sport, who is your biggest sleeper pick for 2010?
That is pretty difficult because the definition for “sleeper” is pretty vague. In the end I will take a chance and say Alex Avila.
Any sport, which player do you fear will let you down, but you feel compelled to keep drafting him anyway?
Wily Mo Pena
Which player has let you down one to many times and is now "dead to you?"
Last year it was Daniel Cabrera….this season I think it will be CBY. I think the guy has massive upside but I just can’t do it again. But it is also January – in April I will love him again, I always do.
Who will be ...
The second player taken in fantasy leagues? If I have first pick it will be Albert Pujols because I am taking Hanley Ramirez #1.
The first starting pitcher? Who the hell cares?
The first closer? Who the hell cares?
The second catcher? Who the hell cares? Man, these last three were easy.
The AL MVP? Alex Rodriguez
The NL MVP? Albert Pujols, because its just what he does.
The AL Cy Young? Lets see - it was Cliff Lee in 2008 and Zack Greinki last year. Wow, if history is any indication this is a tough one to predict. I am going with a long shot and saying Brett Anderson.
The NL Cy Young? Chad Billingsly or Clayton Kershaw – I love them both so much I can’t choose.
The AL Rookie of the Year? Does Alex Avila qualify? Again tough because you don’t know who will get a chance to play but I am going with Neftali Feliz.
The NL Rookie of the Year? If he gets enough games – Mike Stanton.
The fantasy baseball MVP (most value for draft position)? Rickie Weeks
The highest-rated player on Player Rater? No offense ESPN – but who cares?
The Name Game ...
Which player would you rather draft in 2010? Hanley Ramirez or Alex Rodriguez? Ramirez
Tim Lincecum or Zack Greinke? Kershaw
Roy Halladay or Chris Carpenter? Kershaw
Ryan Braun or Matt Kemp? This is a ridiculous question – Braun all day and twice on Sundays.
Yovani Gallardo or Josh Johnson? Gallardo forever and ever.
Prince Fielder or Ryan Howard? Fielder
Adam Lind or Josh Hamilton? Lind but really I would like to answer neither.
Aaron Hill or Ben Zobrist? Zobrist – I am a believer!
Evan Longoria or Mark Teixeira? Longoria – I will never pick a Yankee.
Mariano Rivera or Jonathan Broxton? Broxton. Seriously, a closer question? BLAGGHHH I just threw up a little.
Playing with Numbers...
Roy Halladay wins: Before or after his arm falls off? Try 11 and then a long rehab.
Cliff Lee wins: The deal he made with the devil runs through 2011 from what I understand so I am going with 15.
Mark Reynolds home runs and batting average: 32, .258
Joe Mauer's batting average and home runs: LOL. Hmmm try about 12 HR so why does the BA even matter? Yes, I said his BA didn’t matter, go ahead and write the angry emails.
Chone Figgins and Ichiro Suzuki's stolen bases: 40, 25
Matt Capps saves: 15
Javier Vazquez wins, ERA and WHIP: 17, 4.20, 1.26
Stephen Strasburg's wins, ERA and WHIP: 7, 3.96, 1.35
Grady Sizemore's HR/SB: 32/22
Alfonso Soriano's average draft position: 62
LMAO.....great little add on, he will always be Giancarlo to me now......and hopefully you are right that he stays in the minors this year....it will help me have a chance to draft him ahead of Tarrel in strat.